The truth about kissing

Summer displeases. It teases and hides. I count 98, 99… I wanted to write a piece entitled Sun Kissed, subtitle ‘burning up with love’, but the weather outside is a late ‘80’s band with a no.1 hit that hung around the charts forever.[1]In the envisaged piece, (hazy to say the least) I was going to play on the word ‘factor’… and offer up some kiss factors – it would have gone something along the lines of;

Factor 1 – How to ensure lips are in prime condition.

Factor 2 – Lip exposure and safe kissing conditions.

Factor 3 – Kissing Techniques – how to get the most from your kiss

Factor 4 – Kiss Predictions otherwise known as the X Factor (pun-tastic!).

Can kissing predict whether a relationship is worth pursuing or not?

People enter into romantic relationships for all sorts of reasons, sex, security, companionship, desperation, etc. yet the question I am most asked is the one above.

Usually, the person asking is slightly embarrassed to admit that something as simple as the kiss isn’t working in their relationship and wonder if this deficiency can be plastered over with an improved technique.  I offer them no solace.  As far as I’m concerned, it is, as the song goes, in his kiss.

Sure your boyfriend may have the deepest wallet, kindest smile, most generous nature; on paper, it may look to be a match made in heaven, his eyes could be an oceanic blue, the type to dive into, but if the kiss isn’t good, you will never drown in them. You may dip your toes at the water’s edge, paddle a bit, splish and splash but never drown.

The truth lies on the tip of your tongue. When you press your lips for the first time against another’s and it works, well then the sun shines iridescent, and no shade is ever sought.

The chemistry created between two people predicts a primal compatibility that harkens back to evolutionary biology. Yes, it’s all very basic. The female needs to find a mate to provide her with the best d.n.a. match for any offspring created. Sadly, this instinctual female faculty has been obliterated by modern medicine. The contraceptive pill which induces a fake state of pregnancy in the female means she ends up choosing males with the same d.n.a as opposed to the opposite. (There’s always a price to pay!)

Ultimately, a kiss is a matter of taste and there is nothing more obvious than a kiss that lacks chemistry, for it is a rancid tasting smacker and apt to leave a bitter aftertaste on the tongue.

[1] Wet Wet Wet’s – love is all around. I hated that song, so soppy.
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