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The Diary of an Accidental Mother

 

Week 1 - The Diary of an Accidental Mother 

 

I sat facing the doctor as she tapped away at the computer. It was 5.30pm on a Thursday evening in North West London. She was hoping this last appointment would be brief, an easily diagnosed problem.

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Week 2 –  The Morning After

 

The ‘Morning After’ I discovered I was pregnant was a Friday. I had had to cancel my tennis match -due to go the hospital for an emergency ectopic scan, post the school run.

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Week 3 – Who’s The Daddy (part 1)

 

Deep in contemplation, I sat in a train to Cambridge, due to meet my Ex. We hadn’t seen each other for near on a month. When something is over, it is in my mind – over. There had been no communication, no late night texting or calling, but of course now, things were far from over.

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Week 5 - My Very Own Arab Spring

 

Five weeks accidentally pregnant – Once again at the hospital I lay prone on a bed, my legs hung in stirrups with a blanket covering my modesty. The doctor was in a buoyant mood. It turned out his native Libya, much like my body, was undergoing revolution.

Week 6 – Who’s The Daddy ? (part 2)

 

Over lunch we discussed the concept of having a baby together. Our instincts seem to be in synch and the situation though scary, (we only met six months ago) for want of verb ‘smelled’ good.

Week 7 – Life & Fate

 

The continuing trials of an accidental mother…

Week 8 – Hard Labour Versus The Ziplock Vagina

 

At my last hospital visit, the doctor said I would be treated as a first time mother. My body will have forgotten it was ever pregnant before. I begged to differ.

Week 9 – A Small Matter of Life & Death

 

The Glam Rocker was keen to attend this scan – previous doubts having abated somewhat… still he needed to see this baby bud for real. In boy speak it was the money shot, i.e. what was the going rate for child support?

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week 10 – My X-Rated Reality

 

I thought long and hard about how to tell my twelve year old son about my current situation. I timed it specifically. Earlier in the day, his Dad, aka Le Dazzler, had driven us en familledown to Sussex where BoyWonder sat his 13 plus exams for boarding school.

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week 11 – The Birthday Surprise

Eleven weeks accidentally pregnant and having broken the news to my son I decided it was time to tell my family. A most apt and suitable occasion presented itself on the 69th birthday of my mother, this would be one surprise she would not forget!

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week 12 - Caught Out

 

Having had to keep my condition under wraps for so long I’d almost forgotten I was pregnant. Last pregnancy my bump was near invisible at five months, albeit I was 12 years younger and two dress sizes smaller. I came out at my 30th birthday party. ‘Guess what?’

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week 13 – Sex & Pregnancy

Good parenting has nothing to do with one’s social or marital status though I concede it is more practical for two people to share the job of child rearing. However, a conventional status does not necessarily deign parenting attributes on anyone. If you don’t believe me just go see, ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin.’

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week 14 - Circumcision – The Final Cut

The Glam Rocker is neither religious nor cut. The idea is wholly foreign to him, whereas to me, circumcision is as natural an act as cutting the umbilical cord. I realise in the current climate my opinion may strike a foul chord.